Thin me..

This is me in high school the thinnest i have ever been. Which still was 165 pounds. You can't see my belly but i had one still, not as much as i do now though. Students would tell me my "fat was showing" (through clothing) it was a difficult time, and i took weight loss pills to lose the weight quickly. I was donning my favorite color ever died, pink! :)

Then you have me being goofy sophomore year of college, 4 years ago. Between 180-190.

I realized the diet pills were bad for me, so i stopped taking them and immediately started gaining weight. 

Quick Goal

My husband is an Illustrator, and we go to Comic Book conventions several times a year. I somehow came upon this sexy lingerie, and costume website today. It got me to thinking. Every convention you see booth babes (skinny girls sexy girls) who are there to help draw attention to the table. There are also women dressed in superhero outfits, and they also get photo graphed if they are in a good costume and/or they look good. I have never felt comfortable to dress up in a costume for a comic book convention, but this website gave me a weight loss goal.

My Goal: Buy a superhero outfit, and proudly wear it at a comic book convention. =)

Most likely i could only do this in about a year or so. Once i hit my goal weight. (*fingers crossed*)

Costumes i would like:

http://www.yandy.com/Deluxe-Batgirl-Costume.php

http://www.yandy.com/Sexy-Robin-Costume.php

My Husband is a big fan of this comic book character:

http://www.yandy.com/Sexy-Zatanna-Costume.php

The ticker

The day i got my surgery date i grabbed a counter and put it on my site. When i looked it, it said that i had  80 some odd days, and that felt like an eternity to me. Today i punched in my site, and looked at the ticker and saw 62. For some reason the change in about 20 days seemed like a big deal to me. Perhaps because this semester is flying by for me as i am now in my practicum. To me the end of october is already here even though it is the middleish. (just because of how rapidly things are going)

A big change for me is.... not weight loss related. July 2010 i was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. My presenting issues did not match with this, as they initially said that i had transient global amnesia, and then changed to anxiety. Anyways, through my clinical program, and working through some issues, and finding out that my medicine causes heart issues in higher doses, i am no longer on any anxiety medicine.

This has caused some concern for my husband because in the past when switching medicines i had crashing points, which now i believe to have been conflicting medications.

My point of mentioning this, is i truly believe i was misdiagnosed. After being off my medicine for over three weeks now i feel fantastic. I feel like me, i don't feel like i am in a fog anymore. I feel happy, i am laughing again, i have a sex drive again. (yay since it was non existant for over a year) I have ZERO anxiety, and when i am having feelings i am writing down what they are. I.E- Anger, frustration, etc. Never in the three weeks since coming off of them have i felt a single bit of anxiety.
- A bonus too, i have had a fear of the activities i used to love (rollerblading, ice skating, sledding, etc.) as the doctors scared me into believing it was a horrible idea given that i was on blood thinner. So for over 4 years i have avoided doing the things i love because of this. Last week before i went to get a pedicure with a friend i skated over to her house. I lifted my arms, in relief that i had finally concurred this, i was enjoying myself and leaned back too far and fell onto my booty. I laughed, got up and skated the rest of the way to her house. When i told her about going off my meds, and concurring this fear, she said " you chose to do this AFTER you go off your meds?, " in a joking fashion. (i love her she is great)

So my point- i am grabbing life by the horns and embracing. I want to live my life, i want to do what i love, without the limits.

Just wanted to share. =)

2 for 1 posts! Kind of :0)

I know i already posted today but i felt this required a post too! Since it was bariatric related.

Today i bought a Baby Bullet blender! I don't recommend buying it from the manufacturers website as they want to charge $20 shipping. I went into Bed bath and beyond with a 20% off coupon. It's retail 59.99, but i saved about $12, so that works out to about $48 before tax.
-i figured that i will be on liquids first, i.e protein drinks (see what i bought below), and then purees, etc. plus smaller portions forever, and wanting quick smoothies/ to go foods. So for me it was a good investment. Plus i used to have something similar to the regular magic bullet and i used it everyday for smoothies until it died.

I also bought a Blender Bottle. In my support group they mentioned that blender type bottles are indispensable, as protein separates from whatever fluid it is mixed in.

A few months ago i bought small flexible silicone bowls (about the size between your thumb and index finger put together in an O shape. To help with portions. (and they were really cute <3) They were similar to this but i would never pay that much. I bought mine from cost plus world market and paid $5 for 5. (i love that place)

In my support group a post surgery person named Jean, said that she buys all of her vitamins from www.bariatricadvantage.com , That is all fine and dandy, but some of the prices were a little steep to me. I can happily spend $50 on a blender but for vitamins? Hecks no! ;) I got my vitamin D 1000 (which i am low at, at Target for $6 chewables. (chewables are required the first 6mo of surgery (i believe? i hate pills so i will continue, plus these taste good!) I bought Centrum chewables orange flavored 60 tabs ($6), and calcium 600 rite aid brand ($8 bucks) for 90.

So i think that is all so far. Just wanted to share! =)

It's been a long time coming.....

Last week i went to my 7th month of doctor supervised weight loss (out of 6), i was told to keep going (from my hospital) so that insurance does not deny me. Last week on monday i went to my first support group it was for a shoe company called running fit. They actually had a good product, once i lose weight i will look into it. It just seems odd to do it now, since your feet can change. My second required support group was on saturday and it was to try Unjury Protein. One of the two proteins we can have on our liquid diet. I can honestly say that it is not bad. We tried the vanilla flavor with skim milk, and i smelled it (which they tell you not to do.) But it reminded me of Nilla Wafers. The flavor was a mild vanilla, with a minimum after taste which was not bad either. The next we tried was vanilla with water, which was okay. Finally we tried Unflavored Unjury with a crystal light fruit punch packet. It was interesting. The unjury makes things taste creamy. I think if you mix something in an orange may work better as like a creamsicle flavor. The website is here.  You can only order it online, but i will be placing my order in the next month or so. Monday i got my...... *drum roll please*............ SURGERY DATE!!!

It is set for December 14th.

I set it for that because of school, and my practicum, i have a 3 week break during that time which gives me time to recuperate.

Before then i have to get it approved by my insurance which i should hear back in the next few weeks. I have to go for another sleep study this time to be fitted for a cpap finally! This will be my third sleep study.

I have to go for a 2 hour nutrition appointment, and a whole day of appointments and doctors meetings. Which they only offer on a Tuesday. (which just so happens to be my practicum/school day)

Owell. So the next few months i am assuming i will be posting more often as there will be more to post.

For now: I will talk about a bird with no name.

First off this is not a sad story as it may appear. :) 7 years, and some odd months ago before my husband and i started dating he told me that he had allergies, and that i could never own a bird. I seriously considered not dating him for i had loved birds in my youth and had owned a love bird, and a blue crown conure. But i figured we would not marry so what was the harm. Much to my surprise 5 years later we were getting married, and now 7 years and some odd months later are married. (2 years, and almost 3 months) Anyway, lately i have been drawn to birds. We were at heritage festival this summer and i was able to hold birds, play with birds, and interact with birds, and my love for them was ripped open again, and i was reminded how much i missed being a bird owner. Owning a dog, is different from owning a cat, just as owning a bird is different from those. The bond you share with each is different but important just the same. Anyways jump ahead to about a month ago every time we would go into a petco, a petsmart or some other petshop with birds my husband would find me just staring and smiling at the birds playing or staring back at me. Then 2 weeks ago the talk began. My side was that he used to be deathly allergic to cats and had to go to the e.r. and now we have 5. He got over it! Well eventually i won! And i got this sweetie above. She is perfect. She preens me, she loves me, she is already bonded to me and i have only had her a few days, she was definitely hand tamed, she was from a local breeder, she is only 7 months old, and she happily stays on me for hours and hours. =) Oh and my husband would not try to play with other birds, but this bird he takes out of the cage when i am not home <3 And his allergies are not acting up at all =)

A photo post

I feel like i have been boring you all with text posts so this post i wanted to be mostly photos and share some of my life with you. =) It is hard to imagine someones life without photos. First up we will start with a portrait that my husband just painted of me:

It is very spot on and quite creepy :) I love it. I have been asking him to do a color rendition of me for years. He did a few earlier in our relationship but none since we have been married (over 2 years!!) He has a website HERE and does EVERYTHING. Currently he is painting superheroes on ceiling tiles replacing the people for the sistine chapel. Pretty cool stuff.

Above is my back yard. I have been spending lots of time in. Who knew i would like to spend time in my yard. The past 2 years i worked/lived at a storage facility where it was difficult to spend much time outside because customers would come up to you 24/7 and ask you questions/favors. It was annoying to say the least. But now i am free, and enjoy laying in my hammock while the evil mosquitos eat away at me all hours of the day.

The first two of these three photos... The first is Brewster... well actually his full name is Baron Von Brewster the Wookie Christ. Now i am sure no one but my husband and i find his name silly, but it does have a reason. Brewster we both agreed upon when we got him (i don't remember why my husband thought brewster, but i was thinking punky brewster even though he is a boy.) We love Anime by Hayao Miyazaki (look him up they are great!) (Spirited away, howls moving castle, ponyo, kikis delivery service.. etc) anyways one from Studio Ghibli (company that Miyazaki works for) produced this movie The Cat Returns and we loved The Cat who was called The Baron. So thus Baron Von Brewster was born. The wookie part came because he was really puffy yet small and it encompassed him, add in a collar that was too big and hung over his chest and you get wookie. Finally when he was held he would move his right arm around and touch people like he was blessing them thus the last part. Sorry if this offends we don't mean it to i just like sharing the origin of brewsters name =) Since he has so much personality to live up to the names! By the way Brewster is 1 of the 5 cats currently living with us!

The second photo is Kaeci, when we got her from a woman who had 3 dogs and was giving her away for free her name was KC. We thought she was too special to only have a two letter name and thus became Kaeci. Kaeci is 9 we have had her for 6 years. She does many tricks and her only "undesirable" behavior that she came with was barking excessively. Since we bought a house this has diminished, and is no longer an issue. Kaeci is a very loving dog, she is bright, still learns quickly and is sneaky and has been known to steal frosting off the top of donuts in a box, and close the box. In addition, she has been known to tip a pizza box slide the pizza off the box so the box falls back on the counter and eat the pizza. She is very smart, and very talented. Whenever you think you have out smarted Kaeci she is behind you eating your snack. But as you can see above she has a pretty doggie smile, and a lot of love to give.

Finally, this weekend in my town in southeast, Michigan is Heritage festival. A bunch of vendors come together to sell stuff, and music plays, and it is an over all good time. The last photo is my first henna ever. Obviously i did not get traditional henna, and i did not get it on my hands. The reason for that was because i am starting my internship the first week of september and i have to be professional. I can hide my inner wrist if it is still there but not what is on top of my hands. I went to heritage friday with J and a few friends, got henna and got to hold birds (parrots, conures, etc) . Today i went with J and we moseyed and played bingo. Tomorrow we are going with some other friends. It is a small event but still nice to go to with friends.

Hope you all had a good weekend.

Be safe.

Oh and i never made it to my meeting. Slept through my alarm. Whoops. Next week is my Sleep apnea doctor. I hope i get a Cpap, my sleep is really disturbed and i won't sleep with the funky backpack so i won't roll onto my back in my sleep. That will just give me back pain.

Do what makes you happy/ House keeping

Hello i am back! Hopefully for good now that i am settled into my new home. By settled i mean that 60% of the boxes are unpacked, some of the walls are painted and friends have been coming over very regularly. Settled to me = relaxation, and peacefulness in your area of choosing. A little too zen for me i know ;) 

While i have been gone i have been getting some wonderful emails from some of you and i really appreciate them. You are all so encouraging, and i really appreciate each and everyone of you, even the quiet ones. Yes, i see you there :-p. 

The other odd thing that started happening is the amount of emails i have been getting for marketing. One i got a few days ago was off bounds, as it praised me for not getting surgery. When in reality in December i will be getting surgery just not the Lap band. Who knew that buying a house would get you noticed by marketing moguls?

Now i am not sure if i mentioned why or even what surgery i have chosen. So here it is:

I have chosen the Gastric Sleeve. See Here for information

For many reasons the most important one to me is my Warfarin (coumadin). I have taken Warfarin for 4 1/2 years (since i was 21) now because i have a clotting disorder. The lap band makes it difficult to take pills and warfarin cannot be crushed or made into liquid. Gastric bypass has malabsortion which would also affect the warfarin. So folks in December i will be getting the Gastric sleeve which many say looks like a banana :) 

On a non related note: I start my second year of graduate school September 1st. This is my final year for grad school and i will graduate July 2012. Another exciting point to mention is that i also start my practicum (internship) at a place which only sees diagnosed clients: such as schizophrenics, bipolar, manic depressive, etc. I am really excited to embark on this hands on training, as i will get to be the therapist. =) 

Next week i am seeing a sleep doctor to determine what to do about my sleep apnea, the following week i am going to my first support meeting. I will check in!! 

Take care and enjoy the rest of summer!! I promise some photos will come. I have many!