Wednesday, June 12, 2013


Hello everyone. I just wanted to let you all know that i am taking a hiatus. I am doing a grief project and blogging about my baby and life after losing him. I am also applying for the doctorate program so that may take over too.

my new blog is:

Wanting Carter

I hope to see you all there. I have appreciated all of you along this journey i just need to follow this new path.

Monday, May 27, 2013


Thank you for your support. I am 10 days out from losing my sweet baby boy. Tomorrow we pick up his ashes, and saturday we are having a celebration of life party at our house to honor him. During my pregnancy i lost 15 pounds, and after i gave birth i lost 8 more pounds. I am now down to 201 the smallest i have been in years.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Loss of a baby

On Thursday at 1am i started having what i thought were braxton hicks contractions. By 4 am they were increasing and were a little painful. At 5 i called the on call doctor who told me to go to the hospital immediately. At 5:30 they found no heartbeat and confirmed with multiple ultrasounds. I take lovenox so they told me i would have to come back around 7:30 pm same day and they would induce me for labor. My husband and i went back at 7:30 and they put in this device to dilate me. They said it could take days for me to deliver. At 3:20 am on friday i started having terrible contractions and told my husband to get the nurse. By 3:28 am i had given birth to my sweet beautiful son Carter, just me, my husband, the nurse and my baby. I was 27 weeks and he was perfect in every way. He had my nose, and my husbands feet. Its only been a few days since we lost him, and every day i can't believe that he is no longer with me.

I have antiphospholipid syndrome and i take lovenox for it. 

My husband and i want to try again as soon as we get the results back. 
Researching APS, lovenox and pregnancy are helping take my mind off of Carter for a few minutes.