Monday, March 21, 2011

The wheels are a turning.

I went to my doctor today which was the 1st big hurdle. I had measured myself over the weekend and thought that i was shorter than 5'6 which if i was 5'5 then i was within a few pounds of the 40 BMI i needed to get the lap band surgery. (depressing i know) If i was 5'6 then i was on my own. I went in today and this cute 4'8 asian woman took me back and i asked her to take my height. She gave me this look that was like seriously! But she tried and i could tell she was having trouble figuring out the measuring device. (it was pretty weird) She said 5'6, and i was pretty bummed. But then something inside me decided to question it again so i did. This time she got someone who actually knew how to work the measuring device and to my surprise..... 5'4.5! Which puts my BMI over 40! I never thought i would be happy about that but i am. It means i can go on my path to a healthy life. Then i went back to my doctor and told her how i am tired all the time, that i sleep, eat, go to school, take my meds, and sleep. She is sending me to a sleep study to check for sleep apnea. We shall see. Then i got to the real reason and i started explaining how i hate myself, how i don't want to feel diabetes creeping behind me, or high blood pressure. I want to be happy and healthy. I want to be able to go farther, faster, run with my dogs again. I want the life i had when i was a kid before my parents divorce. After that i got fat, and fatter and now i am drum roll please 237.5. The fattest i have ever been, and i won't accept this. I have been exercising, eating right, i have tried weight watchers, different diets, in high school i used diet pills and dropped the weight but it all came back really fast. Point being i don't want a fad diet i want a lifestyle change. I don't want to roll through life i want to live it!

Next up:
Nutrition Counseling, bariatric meeting at UofM.

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